This is my fourth day of unemployment and people keep asking me how it feels. There is no straight answer, but I’ll give it a shot.
Most of the time, I feel a sort of righteous freedom. A bit like this:
But even in these early days, every once in awhile I find myself wading through a quagmire of self-pity. Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3KoJj4dz2I
On the one hand, I have all the time I need to write, paint, or learn to play canasta. Or at least I should — so far it’s been kind of hectic. On the other hand, I have no income. And because work is important to me, I currently feel a bit rudderless.
I’m realizing that doubt and leaps of faith are a package deal.
Until last Friday, I had the privilege of working for a fantastic non-profit filled with lovely people. When I handed in my letter of resignation, I knew I was leaving a damn good thing. But that didn’t make actually walking out the office doors, boxes in tow, any easier.
Sometimes when I contemplate unemployment, all my brain can think is “holy fuuuuuuudge!” Except I don’t say fudge.
When that happens, I force myself to remember two things:
1) I left because I’m chasing a simpler, quieter life
2) So few people have the privilege of self-imposed unemployment
This time between jobs is a rare opportunity. To ride the TTC in the middle of the afternoon, read a hundred romance novels, and focus on what I really want from my life.
So, in the words of Joanna King (my heroine, who picked up and moved to her hometown in Newfoundland a few years back), my “job” is to enjoy it.
Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.
Listen to Joanna. She knows what she’s talking about.
“I’m realizing that doubt and leaps of faith are a package deal.”
Very true. Enjoy your time off. It’s precious. And Jo is totally right.
Congrats on taking a difficult but important step in caring for yourself. I will miss you for sure!
Mik – I miss you SO much already! That said, be like the Kingdom of Bhutan who measures itself not by it’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP) but its Gross National Happiness 🙂 xoxo
You are so right Mikeala, our society thinks that we are our job… so untrue!! Enjoy the time, and as you said, know that you are privileged to have the time off.
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