My avô (grandpa) died a few weeks ago. I loved him very much, so I’m still quite sad.
This is my grandpa, Dinis Rebelo. Wasn’t he handsome?
The end of his life was hard. He spent five years in a dementia ward. I still can’t bring myself to say his death was a blessing, but I’m glad he’s free of that place.
When he first got there, he walked around confused, running his hand against the wall and staring at all the blank people. With time, he became one of them. He lost the ability to walk, forgot our names, and stopped feeding himself. I cried the first time I watched him read the Toronto Star upside down.
Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease. It robs people of dignity, history and identity – three things that were vitally important to avô.
I prefer to remember him as he was most of his life: proud, handsome and sharp as the tools in his garage. He was a farmer, winemaker, Maple Leafs fan, devout catholic, carpenter, volunteer and family man. You can read more about him, if you’d like.
Alicia’s first birthday. Aren’t we cute?
A year or two before he went to the senior’s home.
Me and avô. I thought he was pretty cool.
My grandparents with my mom and uncles, David and João.
He loved children. Here he is with my little sister, Geneviève.
Here I am, on his lap.
Avô and baby me!
In his homeland, the Açores. His last visit there as a healthy man.
Selfie! I think we kind of look alike.
For over ten years, avô was our neighbour. He helped my grandma care for us after school. In my gangly years, he drove me to basketball and picked me up after piano. He was at my recitals, tournaments and graduations. In many ways, he was another parent.
I was going to write a post about all of the happy things that have happened lately. There have been many! But somehow, that just didn’t feel right. My grandpa lived life well. I needed to acknowledge that – and him – first.
If you have potent red wine or beer on hand, fill a tumbler to the brim and toast Dinis Rebelo. He was a good man.
Here is my grandpa serving alcohol – as he always did when there were guests.
As a Christmasaholic, I just can’t let this festive season go by without writing about it. I’ve been doing all sorts of merry and bright things these past few weeks.
Baking with the Rebelos
Every year for two decades, maman and aunt Fina devoted a weekend to making sweet treats – enrolling us all as sous-chefs. They’ve retired their aprons, but the tradition continues, led by my sister Alicia. My hands ached after a day of icing cardmom cookies, but I wouldn’t have traded time with my cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles and vavo for all the dollars in all the world.
Gen, cutting biscotti
cardamom cookies
Concert de noël
I skipped chorale this season to keep up with wedding planning and volunteer commitments, but I couldn’t miss their show! It was held in my childhood church – a grand old thing, for a small village. My favourite moment was when everyone (audience included) sang Minuit Chrétien. I may or may not have shed a tear or two. This is the choir singing that song a few years ago.
Decorating our tree
Last year, our trip to Europe meant toning down the holiday cheer at our house. But this year, I went all out with local greenery : tree, garlands, poinsettias, boughs and branches. For years, my parents have been giving me an ornament every Christmas, so unpacking them is like dusting off years of stories.
Odie and my staircase
Poinsettia with some of the mice made by my mémère
The tree, decked out
Pulling out the record player
Records combine two of my favourite things: nostalgia and music. So I should have known it was love when, in our first month of dating, JF gave me a record player he’d refurbished himself. But it was only last month, when our friends Jacqueline and Fox gave us a vintage amplifier, that we were able to set it up. It’s been a joy, except JF is obsessed with this Cabbage Patch Christmas record from his youth.
Working as at Sainte-Marie Among the Hurons and Discovery Harbour in the summer was such fun. I loved bumping into some of my old colleagues and admiring the historic site by candle light. If you haven’t been to First Light, you really should.
The chapel
My goddaughter Naomi, looking perfectly Christmas-sy
Visiting with friends
A few annual festive shindigs make my heart glow. One is “Christmas around the world” dinner with Danielle, Joël and Naomi. The other involves our gang of dear Toronto friends, board games and shenanigans.
Danielle, Joël and Naomi
The gang did a cookie exchange. Check out these textbook gingerbread!
Craft sales
My belief is the smaller the town, the better the crafts. This year mom, Gen, Alicia, Donna and I went to the Victorian Craft Sale for the Midland OSPCA. It featured all sorts of kitschy and awesome stuff, plus free tea and cookies. I also checked out the Elmvale Christmas Craft Sale (organized by my neighbours) where I picked up the cutest little knit things.
Holiday movies
I think my very favourite Christmas movie (possibly favourite movie of all time) is The Apartment. But I dearly love Miracle on 34th Street (original, of course), Holiday Inn, Meet me in St. Louis, and The Bishop’s Wife. I also have a soft spot for Home Alone, The Santa Clause, Die Hard, A Christmas Story, Rare Exports and perhaps most shamefully, A Muppet’s Christmas Carol.
This weekend, the family parties begins. We’re spending time at mom’s on Friday, and with Lefaives on Saturday. Next week includes a jam-packed agenda filled with carols, cookies, stockings and enormous meals. Now all we need is snow!
It’s snowing outside and some flakes might just stick. It looks like a giant used an enormous sifter to sprinkle icing sugar all over Elmvale.
Icing sugar hair
Our street tonight
We took a little stroll with Odie today
I’m sitting on the couch with Odie. JF is re-stringing his guitar. I’ve lit a few candles, cranked up Lady in Satin, and put on some slippers. We’re admiring the fluffy white puffs as they plummet from the night sky.
Odie’s head and my slippers
For the first time in months, we’re enjoying a weekend with no plans in it. So far we’ve made a surprisingly cathartic trip to the Midland dump, watched the first three (decidedly unredeemable) episodes of Star Wars, and puttered around the house.
On quiet days like these, I’m so very grateful for everything I have: a caring partner, a giant smelly dog, a loving family, a rickety (but safe and warm) home, amazing friends, a good job, Tobias, and easy access to delicious doughnuts.
Not to mention the hundreds of knick knacks that bring me comfort and joy. I’ve just put up a few well-worn Christmas treasures. And I ’m so excited to hang our Christmas lights tomorrow!
The Christmas lights we’ll be hanging tomorrow
This advent calendar was given to us by my aunt Fina decades ago. He is affectionately known as “tortured Santa.”
Cedar boughs on our front door
I hope you’re just as nestled and cozy (and lucky) as I am, wherever you’re reading this.
I’m feeling philosophical this rainy evening. My giant, smelly dog is snuggled next to me on the couch. I’m drinking black tea with milk (a habit I picked up from dad) and pondering a pretty big concept: happiness.
I think I have a wellbeing spectrum. I can be mopey one week, incandescently happy the next. Some things (JF, Odie, family, friends) boost me up the scale, others (bills, illness, work stress) shove me down.
I’m fortunate to have spent more time in joy than in sadness. I think it’s because my mom trained me to find pleasure in little things like watching old movies, picking blackberries, and reading good books.
I work at seeing and recognizing those happiness-boosters every day, because they tip the balance in joy’s favour. And sometimes it is work – important work that prevents the bad stuff from swallowing me up. Joy can be brittle.
Today, I don’t have to work at anything. I’m feeling glad and grateful for so many reasons. Here are my top 10:
New stained glass window: For two years, we’ve lived with a broken windowpane over our front door. Now, thanks to local artist Renee Havers, our hallway is lit by a beautiful, coloured work of art.
New window! (cameo: Odie)
I really should have removed the lantern (left) but you get teh idea
Visits with good friends: I have a lot of kind, funny and smart people in my life. Lately, I’ve spent time with many of them over food or tea.
Mireille and I (intently) watched the Jays’ game and coloured. It was pretty great.
Fall walks with Odie: I adore fall. And the colours this autumn have been spectacular, so I’ve been sporting my blundstones and sweaters on local trails, with my giant pup.
This is the route we take most mornings. It’s been really beautiful lately
Magic Mike and Mary: Turns out we needed a handywoman, not a handyman! Mary has already connected the two back decks. And Mike, a family friend, came by to install a back porch light. Thank you both.
Tada! Bigger and better back deck! (ignore the leaves, we need to rake)
My wedding dress is in: I’m trying so hard to be practical about this whole wedding business, but I was pretty excited to pick up my dress – a generous gift from my mom.
Lists of love: Some of my most prized possessions are handwritten lists of reasons I’m loved. I keep them in my wallet for those days when I’m feeling glum. Two friends recently created new lists that were truly soul-nurturing.
Toot toot! Thanks Lainers.
New bras: Wearing these, I feel like a new woman. If you haven’t gone for a fitting, I highly recommend Secrets from Your Sister. They cost a pretty penny, but bras that fit are like shoes that fit – they just makes sense.
Time with avo: My grandma makes me laugh and offers me valuable pieces of wisdom. I’ve really enjoyed seeing lots of her lately. She also made me these awesome, elven slippers. Thanks, avo!
Slippers knit by my grandma = awesome
Thanksgiving: A holiday for food and family – two of my favourite things. This past long weekend, I saw many beloved cousins and my old roomie Steph. I also checked out the Elmvale Fall Fair and ate until I had to undo my pants.
My favourite part of the fall fair is the weird vegetable competition
I also love the cow judging
Here are my awesome Rebelo cousins (and Gen)
Beautiful light and colours on our Thanksgiving fall walk
A clean home: We spent a full day giving the house a good clean, and it felt great. For those hard-to-reach nooks, we found a local cleaning lady who charges $25 an hour (cue Enya).
But as lucky as I’ve been lately, I’ll never take joy for granted. Because sometimes life can be tough as pushups after months of slothfulness, or as harsh as hail in May.
It looks like my blog has settled into a new pace – monthly posts. I hope you all don’t mind!
Here’s some recent news from my little life.
We’re eating well, mostly
JF and I decided to eat better and cut out wheat, dairy and sugar for three weeks. The goal? Reset our habits. So long tostitos dinners, hello buddha bowls! Minus a few slip ups (ahem, sweet potato fries) we’re doing quite well. My energy levels are up and I’m feeling less bloated. My doughnut cravings subside a bit every day.
Kale salad – yum!
We signed up for an organic produce delivery service
In Toronto, I always wanted sign up for a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program but couldn’t seem to find the right one. I thought Elmvale was a CSA-free zone until my friend Doug sent me this link. Organics Live is reasonably priced, all organic and mostly local. And they deliver to my house every Thursday. It’s only been two weeks but I’m in love.
Treasure box..
…filled with healthy treasure!
We’re advocating for a dog park in Elmvale
We want a dog park in Elmvale for the Odester. He loves playing with friends at parks in Wasaga and Midland. Imagine how often we could take him if it was down the street? If you agree, email our awesome councillor Katy Austin to let her know. She’s at katy.austin@springwater.ca.
Odie at his cutest. Doesn’t this guy deserve a dog park?
A flyer a neighbour made to promote the cause – feel free to share it!
Wedding planning is progressing
We decided to have our shindig at JF’s parents’ house (merci, Elise et Roger!) for so many reasons. It’s beautiful, it’s free, and it’s close to home. I’ve also picked out my dress, selected flowers, sent out a bunch of save the dates (thanks Eunah!) and made a few decorations with family members. So far, it’s all still fun. Ask me how I feel in a few months.
This is a bad photo of Owen and I, but it kind of shows our photo booth fabric wall
We’re looking for a handyman
After months of grappling with house renovations (mostly JF re-sealed windows while I puttered in the garden) we’ve realized we need some help. So if you know someone who does drywalling, painting and minor electrical, please send them our way!
First target – the dropped ceiling in the mudroom
A local artist is making a stained-glass window for our hallway
The pane of glass above our door has been cracked since we bought the house. We’ve just comissioned a serious upgrade. Local artist Renée Havers is making a piece that should look a little like the inspiration image below. In the meantime, we’re making do with plywood. Sad face.
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
There are probably other things to share, but my brain’s settling into post-dinner Star Trek zombieness. Suffice to say, we are well.
Many of my Toronto friends remain confused about Elmvale’s location. I routinely get asked if it’s near Blue Moutain or Huntsville. The answer is well, kinda. It’s somewhere in between.
Here’s a map with Toronto, Blue Mountains, Elmvale (in green) and Huntsville, for context
I think of Elmvale as the centre of Simcoe County. Not the cultural or economic centre (that’ll be the day!) but the actual geographical centre. We live 20 to 30 minutes from the following places: Midland, Orillia, Barrie and Wasaga Beach. Here’s my uninformed, totally biased opinion on those four hubs.
BARRIE (south of Elmvale)
Spirit Catcher
Claim to fame: nearish to Toronto. Also, where I work.
Populationish: tough to say because it grows by 1,000 every time someone sneezes. Maybe 150,000?
Cool stuff: surprising number of decent restaurants, Sir Games-a-lot, waterfront park, great Mayor, Georgian College
Less cool stuff: Lots of poverty. Also the waterfront could be nice if it didn’t have the grain elevator, lumber yard, giant mineral pile, busy road, graffiti and drugs
Less cool stuff: keeps trying (unsuccessfully) to compete with Barrie – do your own thing, Orillia!
WASAGA BEACH (west of Elmvale)
The beach
Claim to fame: duh
Populationish: maybe 10,000 in the winter a zillion in the summer?
Cool stuff: the beach, the kitschy stores around the beach, proximity to Collingwood (which is lovely), paintball, go carts and mermaid hotel sign
Less cool stuff: driving through sucks. Also, noisy motorcycles zoom past my house all summer to get there.
In conclusion, if you’re planning to visit me OR Simcoe County (which you should!) there’s plenty to do. I suggest you go to all of the towns listed above, but also:
To many grown ups, a decade of togetherness is practically nothing. My avo said « 10 years? That’s as long as I’ve had these pants.» But to us, it’s a third of our lives.
My mémère – a wise woman – used to cut out little phrases and stuff them into her address book, bible, and planner. When she died, I gathered those scraps of paper like precious gems. One said « love is a project.»
JF is kind, smart, handsome and funny. In our early love, days apart felt like months. But here’s something I think is true : even the shiniest silver loses its shimmer if you don’t give it a buff once in awhile.
At this stage in our relationship, we’re expert buffers. Our bi-weekly date nights are mini relationship tuneups. They remind us that we like spending time together. That in fact, we always have and (if we keep working at it) always will.
A retrospective
10 years ago I was at York University. JF was a the University of Waterloo. We started hanging out between summer work hours.
Earliest photo of us I could find
Romance!
Wonderland
Nine years ago we started spending most weekends together, despite the distance.
At Retlaw
So young
chin beard
Eight years ago, we both graduated. JF moved to Toronto and started work. I decided to do a post-graduate certificate in public relations.
Toronto
Casa Loma. Check out that blazer!
We were in Waterloo for JF’s grad
Seven years ago…
Toronto island
High Park
Tiny beaches
Six years ago…
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
Five years ago we moved into our place at Yonge and Lawrence.
Tommy Thompson Park
Waterfront
Edward Gardens
Elmvale Fall Fair
Point Pelee
Four years ago…
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
Three years ago…
Colonel Samuel Smith Park
Utah
Arizona
Zion
Companionable
Bryce Canyon
Kingston
Two years we moved back to Simcoe County, bought a house, and I started this blog.
Tiny Marsh
Tiny Beaches
Is this thing on?
Boston
Here we are now! We have a dog and we’re getting married.
Portugal
Tiny Marsh
TIny Marsh
As I get older, the days go by faster. I’m so glad I have someone awesome to spend them with.
My mother’s garden is beautiful – a layered work of art. My mémère’s garden had a spectacular assortment of roses and lilacs, perfectly pruned. My avo’s garden is full of robust vegetables, and blooms that smell like her islands. They all putter in big hats.
Yet, their skill continues to elude me – like their cooking genes. I’ve got a black thumb and it sucks. BUT, like Charlie Brown with his football, I keep trying anyway. And lately, I’ve actually made some progress.
I put a lot of tasty plants in pots. They help me with mojitos, pizza and salad.
Herby pots. Mmmmmm.
2. With help from Helena, Fina, Andy and Owen, I added a new garden bed. Don’t ask me to identify plants.
Plants donated by my family, plus the lilac bush JF bought me to honour mémère
3. I expanded my herb garden. Problem is, I already had all the “normal” herbs. So if you ever need sweet woodruff or russian sage give me a call.
Plus some ferns and a bush from Heather and Jerry that I can’t seem to identify. Anyone know what it is?
4. We have beautiful old trees and little sunlight. That means a lot of hostas.
I’ve added some trumpet vines and bee balm to the hostas
5. I added forsythia and creeping jenny to this garden bed. David is looking solemn and beautiful as ever.
David, peeking through the lilies and hostas
6. I created a shade garden last year. No flower will ever bloom in this dark corner, but it’s starting to look green and happy.
Hostas, hostas all around
7. This is my hopeless cause. The hostas, ferns and hydrangeas are filling in nicely. So is this creeping evil plant that is temporarily pretty but then just swallows up everything else.
So, so, so full of weeds, punctuated by hostas
There are tons of other problem spots (a weedy stone path, those damn dandelions, illogical decks) but I feel like I’ve made some progress. I’m celebrating the small wins.
I’ve struggled to write lately, because there’s at once so much and so little to say. Life – full of to dos, visits and meetings – is blasting by at warp nine. Yet, it all feels rather pleasantly humdrum.
But instead of letting you believe I’ve been eaten by Odie, my blog left to wither tragically, I thought I may as well share some updates from Elmvale.
1. The Lefaive girls are back in business
Gen has returned from the distant land of Guelph to eat mom’s food and work at ye olde Disco Harbour. It’s been great to see her more regularly.
2. Odie is a sweet terror
He playfully flattens all children. JF says his wagging tail feels like a bludger to the crotch. He also accidentally crushes your toes when accosting you for affection. On the upside, he now knows how to sit AND walk on a leash (little victories!).
3. Wedding plans are progressing
We have a location, a tent, a caterer, flowers, a dress and an officiant. Plus a lovely friend has offered to make 100 invitations by hand. Please make note of their loveliness when you get yours.
4. We’re regularly visiting the sands of our youth
We splurged and bought a Tiny Township beach pass for Tobias. I’m pissed at the cottagers who erect barriers (physical and metaphysical) to keep locals out – my family has been using these beaches a century longer than yours! – but glad this option for pseudo access still exists. Here’s to the smell of coppertone.
5. I joined another board
Yes I know, I was just whining about how busy I am. But I couldn’t say no. It’s with La Clé – an organization that’s vital to the health and well-being of the local francophone community. I’m delighted to represent both my hometown and my age bracket.
6. My garden has expanded
Helena and Owen devoted a whole day to helping me create a new garden bed in the yard. It’s looking a little sparse, but (finally!) intentional.
7. My choir did another concert
Minus a few terrifying bars, it was quite good. We were mostly on key and everything. And I always feel good after singing with friends.
8. The 2015 Humber High reunion took place
The gals from PR school do an annual general meeting. It always includes food and shenanigans. This time, we had a big breakfast then went to Body Blitz, sat around in warm water all day, and talked. It rocked.
No one likes a bathing suit photo poster, so here’s last year’s AGM
9. I painted a wolf
Or rather, a wolf cutout, at Quest Art. Several acrylic-splattered howlers, including mine, will be available at le Festival du Loup through a silent auction benefiting both the gallery and local francophone musicians. Win win!
10. We bought a Roomba
This shouldn’t be news, but this little round robot is so beautiful to me. He whirls around, bumping into furniture, happily beeping and sucking up dirt. We’ve named him Rambo and I dedicate this song to him.
I think that’s kind of it, folks! I figure since I’m getting as granular as dirt on my floor, it’s probably time to stop. The road goes ever ever on (how many nerd references can I fit into one blog post?).
A few days ago, Kristin challenged her friends to summarize the soundtrack of their lives in 12 songs.
Next to the people and Odies I love — and maybe garage sales — music is my very favourite thing. I have several thousand CDs, 13,000 songs on my iPod, dozens of classical piano books, a musician father, and a long history of attending concerts.
Narrowing the huge pool of wonderful things my ears have experienced down to 12 measly songs was a daunting task. So with a nudge from my friend Elaine, I decided to pick songs that have been important to me over the years — not necessarily my favourite songs today — and post them in chronological order.
1. Simon and Garfunkel, Cecelia – age 6
When we first moved to our brand new house in Perkinsfield, the floors were so glossy and smooth that Alicia and I would sprint and slide across the dining room in our wool socks – inside out, for extra speed. For some reason, the game only worked with this song.
2. The Cranberries, Ode to my family – age 10ish
The first album I ever bought for myself was The Cranberries’ No Need to Argue. It was the year Santa gave me a ghetto blaster for Christmas. I would lie on my bedroom carpet, stare moodily at the ceiling, and listen to this on repeat.
3. Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt, HCQ Strut – age 12ish
Suddenly, I loved jazz. None of that newfangled modern stuff with chords that hurt my ears. Just the greats. And this particular ditty always sent me to a happy place.
4. Chet Baker, I get along without you very well – age 13ish
This man. I think I was in love with him. I dreamed of going back in time and saving him from his addictions. Then we’d buy a cottage in the mountains where he would play and sing for me all day long. I may still be in love with him! Sigh. Perfect music to dream to.
5. Beck, Nicotine and Gravy – age 15ish
I’d heard Odelay, but Midnight Vultures blew my mind. It’s still one of my “if you lived on a deserted island” albums. And this song, with its fantastic layers, was a favourite. A Beck show is still on the bucket list. To Kanye, I say suck it.
6. Radiohead, No Surprises – age 17ish
When I was at my very lowest, I started my relationship with Radiohead. I’m not sure they contributed positively to my mental health, but they made music better.
7. The Flaming Lips, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots pt. 1 – age 19
In my first year of university, I stayed with my aunt Fina and uncle Andy for a few days because I was dying of the flu. Fina made me soup. Andy cranked the Flaming Lips. And I got better. Every once in awhile, I still dust this song off and take it for a spin.
8. Wilco, Jesus, etc. – age 20
In my second year of university, JF – lover of mopey cowboy music – stepped into my life again. He made me a mixed CD with Bright Eyes, Antony and the Johnsons, Les Cowboys Fringants, Joanna Newsom, and this song. Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky show in Toronto is one of the best concerts I’ve been to. We love them still.
9. Elliott Brood, Only at home – age 23ish
For some reason, this is still one of my very favourite driving songs. I know all the words (or sounds? Pretty tough to tell what he’s saying) and always scream at the end.
10. Vampire Weekend, M79 – age 25ish
When this album came out, my ears were delighted. Harpsichord AND synthesizer AND xylophone, all in one sound? Amazing. I remember listening to this song in JF’s tiny little bachelor apartment at Avenue and Eglinton and making fried eggs.
11. Megafaun, The Longest Day – age 27ish
These guys opened for the Mountain Goats at the Opera House and this was the most lovely moment of the evening. We held hands. The rest of their set was lackluster.
12. La Roux, Sexotheqe – present
Lately, I’ve needed a dose of musical sunshine. Here’s a song that makes me bop around on the drive to work.
Hello Field 